I Swear To Drunk T-Shirt

What a great way to show people your propensity for getting wrecked without having to utter a single word. Why bother vocalizing your slurred speech and bass-ackward sentence structure when you can just let people read the text on this shirt? It also serves to warn people that any expectations they have of you are probably unreasonably high. Just cut to the chase; “Hey, I’m a mess and I’ll most likely need help getting home.”

You’re welcome.