As I awoke from my slumber the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt was standing over me. He revealed to me that if I bought this shirt I would be able to chew Copenhagen black, while drinking whiskey while flying a bald eagle. I ordered the shirt and anxiety set it. Behold the shirt arrived! When the shirt arrived St. Micheal the archangel himself delivered it to me and told me it was blessed by Mattis himself! I put on the shirt with excitement and a SCAR 17 fell from the heavens, with a voice that was as thunderous as a Howitzer, go forth and freedom!