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Americorn T-Shirt

Americorn T-Shirt

Regular price $29.99 USD
Regular price Sale price $29.99 USD
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Genus: Equus Caballus Spica Libertas or Spiked Freedom Horse
Once thought to be a mythical creature, the Spiked Freedom horse, or Americorn, roams freely from sea to shining sea in the continental United States and has been seen in both Hawaii and Alaska. Its diet consists mostly of amber waves of grain. Two large herds are known to occupy both the Purple Mountain’s Majesty and a remote Fruited plain. Although it has no natural predators several non-indigenous scavengers such as Communists, Socialists, and Terrorists have been known to attempt to take down these large equines but have had little to no documented success. Fiercely territorial, the Americorn will use its dagger like protrusion to ward off any potential threat. It has been said, but not confirmed, that the Americorn is capable of belching a Napalm type gelatin upwards of 100 meters, incinerating anything within the blast radius. There is only anecdotal information of this ability as only charred remains of Birkenstocks and Rules for Radicals have ever been recovered. The Americorn can be often be found mingling with flocks of Bald Eagles.
They are the largest of the Equine family averaging 25 hands high and weighing 3,000 pounds of more. Their coats have been noted to be some form of camouflage pattern to a more spectacular red, white, and blue. There has never been a record of a domesticated Americorn although legend has it that George Washington rode one at the Siege of Yorktown.
References / Bibliography:
I made it all up.


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