President Teddy Roosevelt, arguably one of our greatest, had an interesting approach to foreign policy. “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” In other words, diplomacy first. We will be as accommodating as our adversaries allow us to be. We want to get shit done peacefully, we prefer to “speak softly”. When diplomacy breaks down or fails altogether there is an unspoken understanding by all parties involved that the United States has a fallback, the “big stick” that is our industrial and military might. The great American philosopher and Patron Saint of Chaos, General James Mattis summed it up nicely in a note to some tribal leaders in Iraq; “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes, if you fuck with me I’ll kill you all.”
Speak softly. Carry a big stick”
Well, we were inspired by TR and decided that we should give you ours over the top version of “foreign policy”, or just life in general.
“Walk softly and carry a tomahawk”
Do your best to avoid problems. Be diplomatic. De-escalate when possible. When that fails and violence becomes the last, best option, start cutting faces off. You can’t do that with a stick. You can with a tomahawk. Nothing says victory quite like handing someone their own hair.
I’m sorry, I may have gotten carried away there at the end. I haven’t had snickers yet.
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